We have this false self, or “Ego” as some call it, dwelling inside of us. It is that voice that tells us to give up, that we can’t accomplish something, that we don’t deserve to be successful, or that we are fat. We all have one; it is the voice that keeps us from reaching our true potential; succeeding and living an abundant life.
So what is this loud untamable voice and how did it get so powerful? Here is the shocking truth of it that most of us don’t want to hear. You created the monster!
Yes, this so called ego, or false self, was created by you from the time that you were a child, up until today, and will continue to be fueled by you. Until you tame it.
As children, we were born with the knowledge and belief that we were perfect, whole and complete. This is how our creator intended us to live our lives as our true authentic self. This was a place of complete bliss and joy. Then, slowly, our caretakers or parents, who didn’t know better, started to shame, neglect us or not validate us. Little by little, as a survival mechanism, we had to create beliefs and stories in our minds to convince ourselves that we must be wrong. We built this powerful monster brick by brick over many years. Our parents are our “gods” at that stage of our lives, so they cannot possibly be in the wrong, right? Wrong! As a result, we make ourselves the problem and start up a whole series of new beliefs.
So we adopt these false or limiting beliefs and we then train our egos to continue to validate and confirm them. The more situations where we are shamed, the louder that egotistical voice becomes until it has overpowered the voice of our true self that knows our full potential.
Say for example, perhaps you were treated poorly as a child and were told that you couldn’t do what you wanted to do or that you were told you don’t have a right to feel a certain way. It could have been something as simple as laughing and having fun. You were told that you were too loud and needed to be quiet. The belief that you may have adopted is that you don’t have a right to be heard. As the years go on and you have been told to shush many more times, you then have that belief revalidated.
These are some examples of how the ego tries to keep us in check:
I want to write a book!
“You can’t do that; nobody will read it. You don’t deserve to succeed.”
I want to lose weight!
“Forget it, it is too much work, you are not worth it.”
I want to get help for my addiction!
“You don’t have a problem, everyone else does it. You don’t deserve to be happy.”
I want to build a successful business!
“No, money causes problems, and you don’t deserve to be wealthy.”
As you get older, the ego / false self becomes the loud voice that echoes and reminds you that you need to keep quiet. If you are upset with someone and your inner voice wants to say something, you can be sure that the loud egoist voice will overpower you with the message that you have ‘no right to speak up’ and ‘you just need to keep quiet’. So this is the voice that we let control us. We have basically trained the actor and I like to look at it as the “Great and Powerful Oz” and the little man controlling Oz behind the curtain.
What happened over the years is that the big false self that we created will keep us in check with our limiting or false beliefs. The good news is that once we are aware of this, we can do something about it.
Any time you hear that negative voice in your head, know it is the ego or false self. It operates from a place of control and fear. The voice of our creator / God or True self always comes from a place of love. This is how you can distinguish the two and the voice of love is always much quieter and takes us being still to hear it better.
When the ego starts talking to you, take these steps:
- Acknowledge the voice; let it know that you hear it.
- Remind it that it is no longer needed and that it served a purpose at one time.
- Thank it and ask that it leave because you know it is a lie.
- Tell yourself a new belief that you would like to be your new truth.
The ego can only be tamed and you cannot completely kill it off. It is a natural part of who we are but you are not the ego/false self. Remember, it will take time as it is like trying to reverse a speeding locomotive going 100 mph. You can’t make it come to a screeching halt; you have to slow it down before you can get it to go in the opposite direction.
Be patient and know that it has taken years to build that monster but with practice and thought discipline, you will be able to tame it. You deserve to live a life of happiness, success and abundance!
What about you? If you’re trying to change a certain script in your life, start small and experience some success. Build from there. What has been stopping you from moving forward with change? What rituals (or habits) do you want to change in your life? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
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Published by: Invigorated Solutions. Tracy is a published author and certified Life Coach specializing in life transition coaching, career changes, major life changes and family matters. They can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org
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Passionate about life, learning, love and sharing their experiences, Invigorated (energizing) Solutions offers advice and useful life tips for living life to the fullest on their popular life development blog, “Invigorated Solutions”. Click HERE to visit our website for more valuable information.